WHEN I WRITE THAT FUCKING NOVEL

when I write that fucking novel I’ll get us outta this little shithole and into a penthouse where I can go crazy in peace and collect my royalties like a fat Czar. my mentally unstable condition nurtured by adoring book reviews
and also agitated by them. when I write that fucking novel tulip will come home and the bees will lose their sting. my wife will dance through the hallways eating plums and my parents will finally be glad they fucked me into existence. when I write that fucking novel I’ll go to parties like the monk that I am and drink the champagne of all the beauty in the room. I will sit around and wait for the next the novel to cum and I will be tired so very tired and I’ll stop waiting for texts from Tara cause she’ll be calling. when I write that fucking novel- oh man I can already smell the guilt of my in-laws for doubting my writing abilities. oh I can almost read that novel I just have to write that fucking novel.

art by Paul Warren